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Turning cries into comfort: The truth about excessive crying
  • This post is written in collaboration with Graco as part of their Parents, Connected campaign, shining a light on the very real, very human toll of sleep deprivation in early parenthood. Find further resources and expert guidance at The Graco Village.
  • Here at The Cry-sis Helpline we receive hundreds of calls per month from parents that are struggling with crying babies. Parents that have tried for hours to soothe their baby, checking online for solutions, tips-and-tricks or just some kind of relief.
  • Many of our callers are first time parents but we also receive plenty of calls from parents who are struggling with their second or third baby and have not experienced this level of crying with their first child. This goes to show that all children are different, and some babies cry for long periods with no real explanation.

    • Crying is not a taboo subject

    A mum holding a crying baby in her arms with the dad behind them.
  • The conversation around crying babies is one that is not often discussed in blogs and online, opinions on crying vary and some believe that crying is something that all babies do and it’s just part of being a parent. While in some ways this is true there is a stark difference between a baby crying for food or because of a dirty nappy and excessive, unexplained crying. This kind of crying takes a heavy toll on the parents who can feel helpless whilst also dealing with their own exhaustion and life pressures.
  • A Swedish study published in JCPP Advances found that at 2 month genetics accounted for 50% of crying duration and settle ability, by 5 months genetics accounted for 70% of crying. This research should provide some comfort to parents as it shows us that some babies just cry more than others, and it’s not because you are doing anything wrong.
  • However, this does not take away the frustration or desperation felt by parents, which can be exasperated by the likes of social media where you are presented with images and videos of perfect babies that appear to never cry and spend all their day smiling and laughing. It’s important to remember that much of this is not real and social media content is curated to give the impression of perfection, but behind the scenes there is the same pressures and struggles felt by parents around the world.

    • Support each other

  • When you’re very tired its normal for one or both of you to feel stressed and at times overwhelmed. In the early weeks your partner is also recovering from the birth. You may feel that your partner copes with your baby naturally and more easily. This isn’t always the case, they will have all the same worries as you – Am I getting this right, am I coping with the crying in the right way? Am I a good parent and is there anything more I can do?This situation is new to you both.
    • Try and find time to talk, while you’re walking with the buggy can be a good time.
    • Admit if you find things hard and don’t be afraid to ask for help yourself if you need it. Speak to your Health Visitor or G.P.
    • Look for parenting support groups on social media, they often have local groups.
    • Keep in touch with family and friends, chat to them or keep in touch online.
    • Remind yourself it’s alright not to do everything perfectly, your baby and partner just need you there doing your best and that’s fine.
    A mum sat on the sofa cradling a sleeping baby leaning into the dad sat next to them.

    Returning to work

  • The day can seem very long if you’re at home with baby alone. A quick call or even a message if you’re very busy will make a difference.
  • You may both be stressed by the time you arrive home from work. The baby may have been crying a lot, and you may have had a busy day at work but try and find a few minutes to talk to each other.It will be helpful if you can take baby for a cuddle when you come in, while your partner uses the bathroom unhurried and in peace or has the chance to have a hot drink and finish it.

    • Turning cries into comfort

    A dad holding a crying baby with the mum leaning in to soothe the baby. With the words cry-sis, turning cries into comfort written at the side.
  • At Cry-sis our volunteers provide support and someone to listen when you are feeling overwhelmed. When your baby cries endlessly you sometimes just need a someone to listen and provide a kind voice to remind you what a great job you are doing. Parenting can be the toughest job in the world, and it is easy to get pulled down by expectation and social media dysphoria. The important thing to remember is that you are doing a great job, and there are people available to provide support without judgement and they are just a phone call away.
  • If you need to talk, you can call Cry-sis free on 0800 448 0737. Our volunteers are available between 7 days a week between 9am and 10pm.
  • If you are concerned that it may be more serious, please call 111 or speak to your GP.
    • For more information or support, click here
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