Having a baby is most definitely a life changing event!
Common themes;
- ‘were not going to give our baby a dummy’ then you do and feel bad about it…why?
- I’m unsure about breastfeeding, I’m exhausted, I want my partner to feel more involved, but what about the benefits of breastmilk?’ but I feel guilty giving up….
- I am going back to work – I want to/need to…. But I feel guilty.
These are all things I commonly hear and have experienced myself. It can be a constant rollercoaster that continually makes you question your judgement.
Time takes on a whole new dimension with a new-born. In previous times you may have thought you were tired after just 3-4 hours sleep. Post baby arrival, 3 hours of uninterrupted sleep and you’ll feel invincible!
However, we will tell you something else about time…… it goes quickly. There is a reason a saying becomes a cliché, because its true. The days are long but the years…. Oh, the years are short.
Enjoy every minute and things get easier, but to get you off to a good start here’s a few tips and pointers on preparing for the 4th trimester…
Preparation of feeding and changing stations
This is an important one to think about as post recovery, especially following a caesarean section, as the last thing you want to be doing is climbing the stairs every time the baby needs changing! Now, were not saying you have to go out and spend the baby’s university fund on fancy stations or anything such as, but…a simple changing box both upstairs and down is going to be beneficial, especially when we all know as soon as you change the baby there will be a subsequent explosion!
Don’t put any pressure on yourself to leave the house
heap comfy ‘sloppy joes’ are the way forward! Before baby arrives, purchase 3-4 pairs of cheapie pyjamas and rotate them. You need to be realistic and realise the benefits of bonding within your nest for the first couple of weeks. Babies still have lots of developing to do when they are new-born. As with yourself in labour…oxytocin is a key factor. New-born babies do not need to be visiting the local coffee shop or be in an environment they are not use to. Allow them time to settle in, outside stimulations are for toddlers!
Have over the counter pain relief indoors
Regular paracetamol and Ibuprofen for the first few days to one week will help with your recovery period and the transition to motherhood. Take the pain relief regularly so you have enough in your system to have a positive impact. If you start to feel better – it will be because of the pain relief so don’t stop taking it!
Put time frames on close relatives to visit
Relatives are excited and want to welcome the newest member of the family. Just as when you are pregnant, advice is frequently given whether you want it or not! You will hear a lot of ‘well when I had a baby we did it like this and it never did you any harm’. It’s always a difficult topic to broach but set out the rules before the doorbell rings. Make sure family and friends are welcome but they either bring supper or hoover up……. And only stay an hour!
Batch cook prior to the little one’s arrival
This is another lifesaver! One good, nutritious and warm meal a day is just what the Midwife orders! Life turns into a bit of a whirlwind when your bundle of joy arrives and its so easy to neglect the basic things.
Don’t make comparisons – this is the thief of joy
Do not enter the world of social media…this is not realistic and steals away any confidence you maybe building. Every moment is true to you and your family….. this is your journey. This time is precious and individual to you so soak it up and believe in yourselves.
Tag-team working is more productive – ‘Naps save lives’!
This will be the next year of your lives so prepare for it! It doesn’t last forever but the starting point is to take turns to allow time for a good old fashioned nap.
Hand the baby over once fed and take this time to nap, its hard because the 9 month attachment pulls at your emotions but equally this is a team effort and the unit needs to be functional otherwise the cracks turn into earthquakes!
Remember why you liked each other – another life saver!
A date night is the way forward. Not only is this an opportunity to create great memories but also in the times you may feel your butting head remember… the love between you and your partner is what got this baby in there and subsequently gets it out! Sticking together on decision making, tag-teaming and making the right choices for you and your family will be the perfect chemistry in being whole.
Self-care is paramount as with a well mum we have a well-baby
Always make mum happy is the golden rule! It is so easy to forget about yourself when your baby arrives. This is a time in your life you will feel completely selfless and in turn your needs are the dedicated bottom of the pile. Your midwife will explain to you what is normal following your baby’s birth but take the time to check in on your own health and wellbeing…One tip is cabbage leaves for swollen and painful boobs, believe it or not, no one talks about it but it’s magnificent in easing the uncomfortable boobs ‘! 1 leaf in each bra cup – savoy or white cabbage as they are boob shaped.
Don’t over buy a million gadgets that you may not need – we all live in the world of Amazon these days!
Nappy bins….WHY? I am a dog lover but there’s no way I would collect my dog’s poop and store it in a bin indoors…Totally disgusting! Be practical and don’t over spend! If there’s anything that is essential that you may have forgotten then…next day delivery!
Sometimes having a new-born and the early postnatal days may seem overwhelming. Reach out for help if you need it from your midwife, health visitor or GP.
